In Understanding Independent School Parents <\/em>(Wise Teacher Press, 2012), psychologist Michael G. Thompson and teacher Alison Fox Mazzola map out the core principles of a successful family school relationship. This relationship, the authors note, is complex. But with some foresight and planning, teachers can build strong alliances with parents. <\/p>\n\n\n\n One suggestion is, at the beginning of the year, to ask parents about their hopes and fears for their children. It is common for teachers to feel the pressure to perform in their interactions with parents. Whether it is demonstrating their knowledge of the curriculum or sharing insights about their students, teachers often err on the side of dominating the parent partnership with their own voice. But Dr. Thompson suggests that the key to a productive relationship of any kind is to first build trust by seeking to understand what the person is hoping for or worried about. Taking time to listen, and listening well, is the key to forging a strong partnership from the beginning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then, at the end of the year, a teacher can reference these desires in her conversation to wrap up the year. For example, a teacher might share with a parent, \u201cAt the beginning of the year, you mentioned a concern that your son would continue to struggle in math. Well, as you know, there have been some bumps this year. But there have also been some real victories that I would like to remind us about. This is worth celebrating together.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n When parents feel heard and understood, they are much more likely to trust and respect their child\u2019s teacher throughout the year. Then, at the end of the year, the partnership can conclude with shared appreciation and gratitude for the journey together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It is a common mantra in the business world to underpromise and overdeliver. This insight can, to some degree, be applied in the parent-teacher partnership. It is important to not hubristically claim that any one teacher can \u201cfix\u201d a child or solve a learning problem after years of struggle. There are no guarantees when dealing with humans, no sure-fire way to guarantee a particular outcome, whether it be a particular grade, college acceptance, or habit development. Teachers are therefore wise to not overpromise what they cannot deliver with certainty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n At the same time, at the beginning of the year, teachers can instill confidence with parents through crafting a specific plan to help a child grow in a key area. Identify a root obstacle in the way of a child\u2019s growth and then share a proposed strategy for collaborative implementation. This is what Dr. Thompson calls \u201cclaiming a child.\u201d After all, parents partner with schools because they want their children to be known, loved, and educated<\/em>. While “educated” is a vague term, as classical educators we can think of all the ways we support whole-person growth: habit formation, character and spiritual development, the cultivation of friendships, skill mastery, knowledge acquisition, and more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Teachers can end the year on a strong note with parents by revisiting the plan they agreed upon at the beginning of the year. This communicates to parents, first, consistency in the teacher\u2019s plan for the year, and second, that the teacher has been thoroughly committed to helping the child grow. By debriefing the plan at the end of the year, both teacher and parents can conclude the partnership with a sense of clarity and accomplishment about everyone\u2019s hard work throughout the year.<\/p>\n\n\n\n It may be impossible to go back in time and do over again a particular parent-teacher conference that did not go as planned. But it is never too late to step up one\u2019s professionalism when interacting with parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/educationalrenaissance.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/06\/math.jpg?resize=393%2C235&ssl=1\")
<\/figure>\n\n\n\n2. Debrief <\/strong>the plan you implemented in collaboration with parents to help the child grow.<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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<\/figure>\n\n\n\n3. Demonstrate professionalism and respect through the last day of school. <\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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